i want you to ruin me
i want you to crush
all that i was
i want to come back
beautiful
i want to make them cry
for all of the pain
for all of these years.

your whisper seduces
my mind at your every command
a look
a stare
the painful crash
your beatings
your lashing
the blood and the tears
can you not promise me
this will be worth it
in jsut a few years?

i am going to be beauty
i will be perfection
i will be everything i ever wanted
achieved in just one reflection.

you claw and you grasp
my throat under your boot
i wonder what it was
i was looking for all along
when i heard the sweet
melody of his siren song
i followed and was lead
down a path so dank
i wonder now what
to think of this mess.

i want you to ruin me
and ruin me you will.
i want it so bad
it's no wonder
i already live in hell.

xoxo
Ellie J