That night, I picked up the phone and dialed his number 
I missed him terribly
 I wanted to talk to him
I needed to hear his voice say, “You’re beautiful.”
 I think I love him
I wanted to tell him all of this

I picked up the phone and dialed his number 
With purpose
I would tell him how much he meant to me
I would tell him everything

The conversation was light and flirtatious
I didn’t want to spoil the mood
So I held my tongue
And as we said “Goodbye”
I wanted to scream, “Wait! I love you!”
But I didn’t
As I haven’t done before
As I know I must do.

I keep telling myself that there’ll be a time, a place for
us to be together
For me to pour my soul out to him
If now is not the time
When will it come?
And will I recognize it when it gets here 
Or let it fall out of my grasp again?

I want to live in the moment
Instead I’m living in dreams
And worrying about the “What if”s that the future holds