Despite what I say 
I'm not okay 
And I'm thinking about this shit every night and day 
despite what I said 
I wish I were dead 
I'm lost, scared, and confused 
I hurt, I feel ugly, and used 
I'm different,stupid,and a freak 
And what if I wasn't soo weak 
I know I can't deal 
I know I can't heal` 
All these thoughts in my head 
As I lie in my bed 
I can't do anything but cry 
and sit there and wish I could die 
But what about all those people who make you hate 
they change they're life they change your fate 
Don't they know how many lives they'll take 
Don't they realize some really won't wake 
I know their sick lust 
It makes me cringe in disgust 
They always try to lower other's worth 
It makes me wonder why they're put on this earth 
And If I know it's them, the one's who aren't worth it,
who 
bring me my pain 
why do I care is it just that I am soo insane 
It's getting to the point where 
I'm almost there 
there where I'll be gone 
Till the day that all hope is gone 
I will be forced to carry on 
That day is nearing 
Its what I should be fearing 
But I'm not 
Its almost something I've sought 
letting go is what I think I should do 
After all the shit I've been through 
I know the one's who should see it don't 
Or is it that they just won't 
Cuz I felt this for a long time 
and I've tried to show it 
I don't know why they can't see my soul is as dark as ink 
These are my feelings this is what I think 
and I just wanna know when,my ship will come in 
Excuse me now I gotta go cry myself to sleep again....