Restless,
I struggle,
tangled in the sheets,
suffocating in the darkness
where the air is heavy,
pounding with regret.
Where the seconds tick by so slowly
and I watch the hands moving innocently
from 3 to 4am.
The taste of alcohol lingers,
nausea riots through me
in the bitterness that comes
with sobriety's return.
I am weak and only you
could heal these screaming wounds,
my tortured mind imagines
your embrace; completeness.
You will never be the one
to hold me
whenever.
Bars imprison us in a world
of secrets and lies,
of deceit and guilt, 
futureless, no hope.
Our helpless pulses only take us
'round in painful circles.
I wish that we could say
'us'.
I long to be with you
anywhere we desire,
not reduced to closed curtains
and holding hands under tables.
Withdrawls leave me sick
as I crave you again.
Can't walk away,
I've tried
but I left my heart behind.
The clock says 5am.
I fight my way out of my hell,
collaps into the couch
despising the dawn chorus.
Another day.
The world is still asleep.
They don't know.