Many a prick has dangled his dick,
Metaphorically speaking at least,
More cash earned than brains,
Oh lifes such a strain,
For an over-paid, footballing beast,

It's only a text, not like real sex,
Ok, love let's put it behind,
For crying out loud, 
You call yourself proud,
Why not go out and buy you a spine,

He kicks chunks of air, a millionaire!
Defending a bloody big goal,
But you ain't no hag,
So why be a wag,
And tarnish you're beautiful soul?

Trust me dear love, the man up above,
Reckons you can do better than him,
So give him the boot,
The pervy thick brute,
It won't be no original sin,