I'm struggling with my feelings,
Trying to pull myself up when I'm down,
Feel like I'm on the edge of tears and I have no clue why,
I always put myself through this every time,
My heart can't stop from reaching out to someone,
Hoping for some companion.
It wants to feel loved but knows its not the right time. 
Every time I put myself through this I come up hurt again.
And why?
I have no idea.
For who?
Basically no one that's worth my time.
how do i know this?
I'm scared to get to know that person,
Like them even more and find out they don't feel the same
way.
Then all I do is become sad and go into this depression
state. 
Somehow I need to be strong but I haven't found a way.
My tears spill so easily,
And my smile goes away,
I need to put some lock on my heart.
But I haven't found a way. 
who am I kidding,
This is hopeless.
I guess on my death bed I'll be all alone.
And when i try to reach out for a hand to hold mine,
In my hour of need,
All I'll feel is the air,
And nothing else.