To open this document to simple express, 
how many hours, days, months
have the wheels of my heart refused to conjure a conceivable
thought?
Months of toiling through what I feel for you
- limerance
the hurt that convolutes, 
- becoming void,
what whispered fervently but could not be spoken - words
will not justify
In truth, what lacked was in knowledge
of purposes and dealings of anguish,
of the proper understanding of unrequited experience 
                 - what could have undone time wasted with
thought
(proper perspective - lively, yet serious and dismissive -
was it possible?) 

I am mute
my hesitation has caught my tongue and fingers. 
the comfort of values and wisdom floating in the cosmos,
away from me
Eyes never expressive enough in photographs - for you to
see
	too much makeup - emotions trapped between black lines
Maybe my words were not needed, 
your presence absorbed them 
	- hints 
I've spoken enough about this last season,
- with you -
resolution is none or worse
Now my words say goodbye, 
Now I shut out our most prided bond - honesty 
will it dishevel us? Will you allow it to? 
Would you want to know? Of the seriousness, of the tortuous
length of time? - the awkward endlessness? 

a possible doom - losing the person you had to hurt to gain

I felt my dreams - at night a week in a row
of destruction, of awkwardness 
	- of utter premonition
	- of mutual knowledge of irreparability

Feel me,
bring me out, 
force these words to explode. 
Feel me.
You deserve to hear this pain.