A tale of my past, tears bled from my heart, half my life is
gone, and i still think about the start


I am a man turned 40
Having lots of pain and anger inside
I know I have health problems
That’s getting harder to hide

Lately I’m having many thoughts
Running through my head
The kind of thoughts that keep you awake
When it’s time to go to bed

I remember when I was a child
My daddy loved me so
He took me everywhere he went
And taught me things I needed to know

I was his little boy
So proud he was of me
He had no idea about the future
It’s just things we couldn’t see

As the years went by
We grew further apart
He never even had time 
To help me build a go-kart

At the age of fifteen
We began to disagree
I could never have any friends over
His reasoning I did not see

I remember him yelling
The police are on their way
Between us was only hatred
And why I could not say

We were pals
I am your son
Now you scold me
For everything that’s done

My life was not normal
Like every other kid
They didn’t have a dad
That did the things you did

I remember when I was eighteen
Snow covered the ground
The family all over for Christmas
Looking in from outside I couldn’t hear a sound

My niece and nephew
Making faces at me through the window
They were too young
Their little minds didn’t know

My brothers and sisters
And all the children too
Knew I was outside
But there was nothing they could do

I have been on my own 
For many years that have passed by
I still have pain in my heart
And inside it makes me cry

I have hidden the pain
And traveled the world about 
Changing my name 
And standing tall and stout

Most people think they know me
Thinking they are close to my heart
They have no idea about my past
How bitter or how tart

They can look in my eyes
And know I mean well
Open there ears
And hear the stories I tell

Now I am forty
My dad wants me to forgive him for his ways
I tell him he is forgiven
Before in the ground he lays

My heart has pain
But no more do I shed tears
I live with what divided us
In my teenage years

Daddy I forgive you
For all that you have done
We have had our differences
But I am still your son

I live across the ocean
I have a family of my own
The things that happened to me as a teen
To my children will never be shown

Now I have other pains
Much stress wares me down
I can’t sleep at night
Wishing I was in my home town

I have made my bed
And here I have to lye
I have a family to take care of
Until the day I die

Being forty
Is really not so bad
I just wish that my memories
Were really not so sad

Daddy I truly love you
I tell my kids about you too
I want them to love their grandpa
If it’s the last thing I do





Copyright © waynster ... [2004-03-11 18:08:45]