Someone as told me to stop worrying.
I am red.
I sleep to escape reality.
No more please.
“Get up. You need to go to school.” 
I can feel my hand tense.
Pretend.
Play the part. 
Don’t mess up.
Keep smiling.
“Don’t worry, it will be fun.” 
Does negative out weigh positive?
My brain has added something else to that equation.
Guilt.
What is it?
My brain has its own pain.
I know I cannot stop it from coming.
I am driven by the fact that it WILL get better.
“Never say such things.”
“I cannot believe you did that to you're self.” 
“What will everyones else think of you?”
Please, I’ve already thought of that.
The remarks run in my head. 
“When did they do that?”
Every sentence has a
background, a purpose. 
Only the hurt can fell it.
Feel it run along their bones. 
Making a hollow home in their lungs.
I give in, every time. 
MAKE IT STOP. PLEASE.
“Quiet now.” 
“You’re so dramatic.” 

My name is Ericka, and never, ever will I give into it
anymore. I am making a vow of happiness & sustaining love. 

Never fail.