Some haiku we had to write for class, by lost the lonely dead
|
(we werent following the five seven five thing, we were
focusing on setting a mood and then doing something to it at
the end)
Quiet night
The rain falls softly
Lightening strikes
Mid-summer
The hot sun beats down
A spring spouts water
A crowd
Laughing, carousing, jeering
She sits all alone
Speechless
Words conflict awkwardly
Poetry immerges
Darkness
A peaceful quiet night
The farm’s on fire
Robots
All the same all lifeless
He pulls the trigger
|
| Posted: 2006-04-02 02:42:30 UTC |
| Current vote: 1. | To vote, you must be logged in.
|
To leave comments, you must be logged in.
| 2006-04-22 22:36:56 | ♥Just Sam♥ |
| it isn't called haiku if it isn't 5,7,5... what you made is called a short poem....wow....who would have thought of that? |
| 2006-04-23 03:51:56 | lost the lonely dead |
| actually no........5 7 5 makes horrable haiku, by contemporary standards.....the real way to right it is to forget the formula and focus on setting a "hai" and thne punching it at the end with a 'Ku' contemporary poetry breaks and sacrifices formulas and rules for creativity and in my opinion makes for better writing |
| 2006-05-01 23:30:20 | Loneliness is condescending |
| what did you do to tick her off jeeeze and by the way i like the poem 5,7,5...5,7,5 rules confine and die |
| 2006-05-02 16:08:08 | lost the lonely dead |
| yeah hey i like the vote rock on i got a 1 anyway......yeah i dont really care one way or the other but it was what the teach said *shrugs* sorry if i came across as upset or 'condescending' |