Desperate for cold night air, by lost the lonely dead
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(subtitled: the way you dance)
The pounding throbbing pulse
Heavy air hanging about the head
Smiles and laughter, lights and music
But at first it all was slow
Or so it seemed
But the room is dark and hazy
And then you picked up the pace
And danced a stange tune
The party over and decorations torn
What happened here what was this really?
Alas i gasp for the cold night air |
| Posted: 2006-04-02 02:42:29 UTC |
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| 2006-04-06 03:30:14 | Loneliness is condescending |
| I know this has nothing to do with this poem but for some reason as I was reading this I pictured us in a pen war and it just amused me so. So far I like this one are you going to expanded it all I feel like there might be a line or two missing in there |
| 2006-04-06 14:09:07 | lost the lonely dead |
| *grins* i guess i could sorta see that but not really...yeah it is sort of incomplete i was sort of wondering what you thought of it, if i find the time ill go back and do something more to it |
| 2006-05-12 03:21:07 | Faith |
| I like it, but maybe that's because i love dancing and found that you captured the imagery well. Good job! |
| 2006-05-14 07:58:10 | lost the lonely dead |
| im not much into dancing but the pen war i could handle better but i have some strange feeling that i would fail at either just as brilliantly |