stare in wonder
how has she made it
this far?
how is she still stands tall
how is it that you can't
cause this bitch to hit the ground
why won't she just fucking fall?

you break her vision
make her heart spin
she feels like giving up
and yet she just
dont cave in.

she wont let you see
the tears she bleeds
she won't show you the
scars you carved in her flesh
she wont continue on
the dreadful path
she doesn't even flinch
when you laugh.

we all know she thinks
deep ionside herself
that all eyes are
always on her
that everyone is making fun
of what she is doing
questioning the clothes she wears
asks themselves why the fuck
she is still eating...

and yet there she goes
straight and tall
eyes forward
blank..
but yet her heart
will tell you all.

she isnt brave
she isn't strong
what courage?
it was a fucking lie
she isn't going to last
it's been lies all along.

dont you see through her??
who the fuck
does she think she is??
Ellie J, what the fuck.
who are you?!?!
WHO ARE YOU
and what are you doing here?
you aren't welcome
we dont fucking understand the connection
you associate yourself with us
by what means?
find yourself
BE yourself.
stare in wonder...
she is still with us?


... she's alone.
she's always been alone.
when she cries
nobody even cares
when she screams the world
turns their back
and you ask yourself
why she is jaded?
well fuck
she is so goddamn hated and you
think she wouldn't be cynical by now?


captivating.
the lies, so fucking
mesmorizing...
standing tall
how dare she
why cant she just fucking 
fall.

xoxo
ELlie J