Thoughts... (Not really a poem)

God please help me take me away from here make him love me please make the tears go away take my pain take my life help me don't make me take my own life take me away from here, from him, from HELL make it all go away please... don't you see the pain? don't you see I'm hurting?!?! do you even care that I'm not happy? No. No one cares. No one's is there TO care. he's taking them all from me. all my friends. it's all because of him. protective bastard. doesn't he see he's hurting me?!! doesn't he even care? show him the pain through my scars. through new ones. show him how bad he's hurting me, hurt him right back. take my life. take his joy. my life for his joy. fair trade. make him HURT the way he hurts me. make them all grieve over the loss. put them all through everything they put me through with simple words. only mine is worse. my life for ALL their joy. another grievance. just like Cody. Just like Cody..... just like Cody.... just like every kid that kills themselves every day. just like every teen that cuts themselves because of their family. they think I don't care? well then I WON'T. show them all.... show them all everything they hurt me with, send it back as hard as I fucking can. show them all.... God, help me. straighten out my life. please.... whats wrong with me? help me.... please help me....why doesn't anybody care? why?! why does he take everything I have from me? everyone important? everyone who means something? i just don't understand. why doesn't he love me? am I that much of a disgrace? am i?!?! because... because I cut myself? is that it? because I've attempted suicide? because I've thought of running away, of killing myself, of killing him and everyone around me?! why can't he just understand that my life isn't as easy as it looks. why can't ANYONE understand that my life isn't easy.... why can't they just... go away. fade to black. fade to black fade to black .... please ...... help me. take me away from here. put me somewhere where people care, where they UNDERSTAND. where they don't avoid my problems, they HELP them. where they don't act like I'm perfect, where they KNOW I'm NOT. please..... make it all go away. make my life go away. take away the pain... take away the people that hurt me.... take it all away..... I'm begging of you..... make it leave.... make me happy, for once. why does everyone think I'm SO brave? why? why do they all ignore my problems, when I'm dealing with all of theirs? why the fuck won't you make it all LEAVE!!!! Why? why don't you answer anyone's prayers? Do you even EXIST?!! If you do, you sure don't fucking ACT like it. why is no one there? why is it, that in the end I'm always left alone? why does everyone break my heart? why do you let them hurt me?? They all leave me.... everyone leaves me.... right when I need them. WHY?! why... I don't understand. I don't understand it. I don't understand YOU. If you love all of us so much, WHY do you put us through such pain? we shouldn't have to go through this shit if you love us. Because when you put this on ME, on TRENT, on EVERYONE, we all lose our love for YOU. I hate you. I hate him, I hate the little bitch I'm forced to call my sister. I hate all of you. Except for those few who try to make my life as easy as possible... Grandma, Brennen, Cooper..... wow, that's about it. no one else cares. no one else is there.