Impossible

calories consume your soul no matter what you do you can never reach your goal. and you are dying to be perfect you are dying for something that isn't real its such a scary thing to watch youself lose control. you think you're in the lead and you think it's going good the second you turn around that porkchop makes you gain 3 pounds. and it was jsut three more pounds till im happy three more pounds and i win three more pounds and i've done it i've made myself become thin. you walk in fear of the numbers and you shy away from mirrors you hide your face at lunchtime from the judgement of your peers. and you say im not eating well thats not the case i just cant eat this here, infront of your leering face. the scale is the enemy and the mirror is a traitor but worst of all is the girl inside the one true hater. and the voices that come at night or whisper in your ear as soon as you reach for crisps or bacon the paralizing fear. the purging and the hiding, the lying and the pain its something that i wish to god i never let myself become this insane. the guilt from everything is starting to wear me thin haha, if only that were the case. if this were to be a game it's a game that one can never ever win. xoxo Ellie J