Fear

tidal waves of fear sweep across the surface and yet not a ripple not a second glance silver up and swallow pride this is how it feels to contradict the stuff you hide. numbers add up and your morale is low the mirror is not the place i want to go. and yet drawn in my haunting eyes the glimmer of green against black eyeliner curl up in a ball and forget about dinner. the taunting form inside is the worst pain you can have how can it be that i, myself can utterly hate me. the reflection is large inperfect, untrue. this is a place i worked hard for and the work is hard to undo. the stitches i've sewn come undone the lies fall on the floor and shatter all the ways that i've grown it didnt matter. i want more. afraid of the feeling of being full afraid of the scale afraid of the looks the gossip, the lies the truth burried inside. when i open my eyes i see the beauty around all i want is to be part of it not left in the dirt crying alone on the ground. i'll take your hand and let you lead me away but the haunting image in my mind will stay. the voices dont stop the hate wont supress it isnt merely a case of fitting into the perfect prom dress. xoxo Ellieeeee