kennedy

dont you see what you took from me my hands cold and shoved in my pockets i wanna be there hold your hands to warm mine why arent you here close the blinds ignore the street lights the cars passing by could they be me driving past you again and again wanting to rap the sill you just pushed me away remember how you'd cry in your kitchen the last kiss i gave you to your forehead as i handed that letter i spent so much time going over it even gave it an editor and you read it a thousand times you told me you told me that did it that did it for you you know i was right but i was just trying to show you how wrong it was that you'd argue it say it was all wrong realize how i love you how i love you and in that kitchen i kissed that forehead left into the street under the streetlights i left you push me away hold on just a little cuz god knows we cant let go completely how do i move on from something that keeps me alive love, maybe its me maybe its us remember waking up, putting the blankets away from the floor our nest our little joke and making out madly even though we did that all night one last time before we have to go upstairs and leave it all there downstairs hiding it agaisnt the wall you'd push me kiss me feverishly couldnt get enough i couldnt either and then with tears and that coy smile we'd reluctantly go upstairs i can taste you now as i could then "can we just kiss awhile?" i remember the feel of your whisper on my ear when i didnt have pjs unexpected slumber party for two id wear yours oh love you're shorter than me and i got capris unintended lets make it a point to at least not forget those times little panguins about five inches too short lets not forget the magic now that its stopped how you'd tell me to shutup and to fuck off never words so lovingly muttered how i need you now how different id be how itd be to walk into a bar with you as we should be together to kiss you as we dance and not have it be hidden in your room to hug you and have you smile proudly and everyone be able to see it to know that you're mine to dance to your song put your back into it yes i remember how can i forget have renee tell me how hot you are when you dance and be able to join you to touch you in public thats why i didnt back then i know how hurt you were it killed me but i had to protect you lets not just say i'll call you we'll keep in touch those are so empty sounding since i know you just want what i want and cant or wont or whatever you tell yourself remember swimming? when i pulled you into the pool and you were a little panicked then i told you a thousand times i had you and i wouldnt let you go and you smiled kissed me there and hung on so trusting remember how innocent i was how earnest before being jaded before bitter so many people wouldnt believe there was sucha jill but there was i have the videos to prove it how they should watch how i was shock is an understatement i remember showing off doing handsprings off the diving board loving when you'd squeel nervously and splash me fake-madly when i'd land it remember all that? i do. every breathe every sound every day and i fucked it up and i know it. and now? now im so jaded and closed off never going to recover no one can reach me anymore how you should see me now as they should see me then the lights out. the lights out.