welcome to my warped world
take a walk in my mysterious shoes
and if anything u see makes sense
Please help me get a clue
My frantic search for peace
my reality in being a storm
powering all the noise and chaos
My little black box, amorphous in form.
This poem could get long,
It could be ridiculously short
I cudn't tell, just cuz I'm really sleepy
and yet not.
Anyway, so my little black box
As transcendent as its colour
simple, empty, evil, dark
complex, dense with god knows what! Go figure
In a world of learnt habits, choices, standards
The box alone I call mine
Although, I know nothing of how it works..
Of its contents too I am blind.
stuff goes in - visual, auditory, olfactory, sensory
stuff comes out- thoughts, feelings, actions et al
It's like there's an invisible person sitting in there
Cuz these things I'm not actively involved in at all.
Why do I feel alone all the time,
Why does no one understand every aspect of me
How can i love and hate the same person so much
How can I feel close to u and still be a mystery
Grab the box and the world will turn to mayhem
Fate leaves life written in stone and yet a pen in my hand
Thoughts and feelings dictate action ..i feel above both
in the fabric of existentialism, I am a mere strand.
Grab the box and ur in the zone,
where adrenaline highs get u through school
where strong emotions are bizzarely out of control
where all life turns into a big dream, and you an
instinctual fool.
Have you ever cried a million tears
over a person or an event
You hate every second of the pain & suffering
But you wudnt change the past or the outcome - you dont
repent.
As if aware that the pain was fate,
yet bitter it felt like a choice
Lost in a meaningful symphony
Searching for your own voice.
Inconsistent decisions, non coherent emotions
Changing experiences, dynamic personality
How can i know that though I keep changing with time
And still be sure I'm being me.
Then again where am I? who is me
The only me is in that box - my home, my prison
And again I pick abandon over no identity
The twisted bitterness of fate, but this path was chosen.
The struggle outside, the struggle within
I am forgiving but i never forget
I like strong but soft, determined but flexible
I am loud but quiet, inattentive but observant
SHUTUP, SHUTUP - I dont KNOW how to word it -
I'm a black box, a violent storm: Danger! Avoid or
Circumvent. |