The Dance

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By Liberty or Death •

Over the years I have seen Faces with tears Shouts And screams Eyes filled with nothing but sadness Faces shadowed from all the madness Words told from a lie Some wanting to lay down and die Drugs taken to shield the pain Alcohol swallowed to numb the brain Thoughts drift inside a head Empty enough to be considered dead Objects sway as vision blurs Things can't seem to get much worse Hearing grows while smell fades It's gone too far for medicine's aid Actions become a game of chance To them it's just a little dance A dance with a gambler The gambler a killer A killer in many ways A gambler who'll play for days To dance all night Means to play with death So what will they do? When it's their last breath....

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August 14, 2006 07:52User

I am not sure why I can't relate at all,
I am usually able to relate to many poems but..one thing I can tell you...rhyming is not a must in a poem..

August 15, 2006 18:40Liberty or Death

It's actually a poem of someone else's life that I've seen. I know rhyming isn't a must, but every time I right a poem I try to rhyme automaticaly. I'll keep your advise in mind the next time I right a poem. Thank you for your comment!

September 15, 2006 17:17Faith

It's not a bad poem though...

October 31, 2006 06:18lost the lonely dead

the ryhming issue asside, it doesnt seem to flow rythmically very well, the intro is pretty good...if i were doing it id maybe try:
Over the years
Ive seen
faces with tears
shouts
and some screams
eyes, filled with the nothingness
only sadness
faces, carefully shaded shadows
hidden from maddness
wanting only to lay down, and die
drugs for the brain and
brain for drugs
yet a little liquor to feed the numbness
thoughts drift in and out
clinically, emptily dead
objects sway in blurriness
scent giving way to noise
medicated beyond a chance at hope
poker-faced reality seeps into this dreamworld
but its only a dance one little dance
nothing but a gamble nothing really
gambling for the souls of idiots
the gameplay never ending
a dance that goes on spinning
intending to tease death
so what'll they do?
last breath's on their lips...
what could save them then?

anyhow just a thought...nothing more really

October 28, 2009 23:22Moon

I can't explain how well written it is