If my father is a killer
who am I?
If he resides on death row
where will I end up?
If he hates more than he loves
will my relationships be doomed?
If he damages all he knowes
will I be abusive too?

I see his scars on my mother
all these years later
Most you don't detect right away
but all too soon they
become painfully obvious

My son bears such a resemblence
to his father
his smile, his laugh, his sence
of humor, his charm
many things he never
could have learned
but remarkably he clones
every small detail

So I wonder what this means
for me?
At what point did my father
 become a monster?
What swich was flipped
that turned off his heart?
what triggered him to be
so diabolical?
What happened to make him 
a cold blooded killer?

Another inmate will be 
put to death next week.
This state is moving
down its list 
closer and closer to
his name, my name,
slowly it moves to the top
He is out of appeals
and almost out of time

Is this justice?
will I feel bad?
will I feel anything?
Will I be free of the devil
always there, on my back
tormenting me?
Or will I be "the" target
the next now in line
to be brought down 
to utter distruction?
Will my son be safe?
Is it in the blood line?
Or all in the mind?
Is it choice or circumstance?
Or reaction, or learned behavior?
I guess will see?