Sometimes

i walk down by the river and the grass flies this way and that the wind confuses my hair pause to watch smoke curl helplessness is no excuse when its the flat out reality and the whole world just wants to fall sometimes i wish being with people and friends didnt feel so much like this sometimes i wish and other times...well...sometimes i begin to wonder what im doing where im going and every time i close my eyes the cars zoom everyone is going somewhere but my feet wont move the wooden stumps cause me to stumble i roll down to the waters edge and i wonder how i got here where im going and where they went why did no one say goodbye and now i see...what a waste its all been sometimes i just wish time was really mine and id muscle the gianormous hands of london's biggest clock maybe then i could take back time maybe then sometimes would never come i need a home somewhere, anywhere not here sometimes people have to die and the prettiest flowers bow in reverance and all fancy speeches and nice kind words all come to a standstil and sometimes i wonder what it would be like if for a time to never exist sometimes working on it...suggestions? it was prompted by a series of serious events i cannot describe or i would but in the end of it all i find nothingness and i need to capture some in this to make it the way i imagine it