Sleeping is no longer a luxury for me. It comes at a great
cost.

Nightmares, wishes, things that will never happen.

Dreams of demons, the demons that I thought would leave me,
but never will.

The dreams of him
The one that I'll never see
Never hold
Never touch

My eyes are bloodshot and my mind numb. I cry constantly

But has he noticed?
Has anyone noticed?

Not until I cry out for the help I need.

And even then...even then

He ignores me.

He pretends I'm not an important part of his day.

He loves me. 

But he has her now

Shes the important one

Five hours talking to each other. While I'm sobbing alone

Stuffed into a corner of his mind, forgotten and left to
rot.

He'll figure it out someday

That when I needed him most he wasn't there.

That he missed out, that he lost

That he was a selfish bastard

And sadly enough

I still love him

I no longer make sense

Not even to my own self

My mind is jumbled, numb, and all together a wreck

I can't think without thinking of him

He haunts my thoughts

My every move is caculated to what he'll think

Even though he can't see
Won't see
Doesn't want to see

So what do I say
to make him realize that I'm better than her
To make him realize that I'm the one he needs?

Sleepless nights lead to mistaken words

I'm going to rant and rave
I'm going to get angry
And I'm going to tell him the truth

But worst of all
I'm going to regret every word I speak 
I'm going to regret the moment I ever open my mouth