2/3/07

Sleeping is no longer a luxury for me. It comes at a great cost. Nightmares, wishes, things that will never happen. Dreams of demons, the demons that I thought would leave me, but never will. The dreams of him The one that I'll never see Never hold Never touch My eyes are bloodshot and my mind numb. I cry constantly But has he noticed? Has anyone noticed? Not until I cry out for the help I need. And even then...even then He ignores me. He pretends I'm not an important part of his day. He loves me. But he has her now Shes the important one Five hours talking to each other. While I'm sobbing alone Stuffed into a corner of his mind, forgotten and left to rot. He'll figure it out someday That when I needed him most he wasn't there. That he missed out, that he lost That he was a selfish bastard And sadly enough I still love him I no longer make sense Not even to my own self My mind is jumbled, numb, and all together a wreck I can't think without thinking of him He haunts my thoughts My every move is caculated to what he'll think Even though he can't see Won't see Doesn't want to see So what do I say to make him realize that I'm better than her To make him realize that I'm the one he needs? Sleepless nights lead to mistaken words I'm going to rant and rave I'm going to get angry And I'm going to tell him the truth But worst of all I'm going to regret every word I speak I'm going to regret the moment I ever open my mouth