Dripping on the Denim, by thesexygreenmnm
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The splash of the drop
As it falls off my cheek
Or my nose, it rolls from my eye
To my chin, leaving a wet
Trail behind, salty for the pain
And suffering I have been
Through with you and him
And her and me and them and nobody knows
The wetness of the tears
As they release from
My eyes but don't bring
A release from my heart, and I keep
Hurting inside because the
Salt stings as it goes over the cuts
Imaginary cuts
On my face as the tears are
Dripping down down then fall
And splash against the denim as
I explain everything to
Him because he made me
Wanted and loved
But now he doesn't and he doesn't
Want me or love me
And the tears come because I miss
Everything that used to be
And the salt stings my eyes
As the wells in back overflow
Dripping on the denim
And I want it to stop
But I want it to go
And I want it to hurt
And flow with the tears
But it stays locked inside
Because nobody wants me anymore
Dripping on the denim
I've ruined it all
Dripping on the denim |
Posted: 2005-01-06 01:25:11 UTC |
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2005-09-19 02:21:31 | ill haven |
Very descriptive and repetitive.
I like the odd number meter. It makes for good sounding proetry (prose/poetry)
I also liked the use of antonyms in lines 29-31 (I believe) stop, go hurt and flow with the tears
I absolutely LOOOOOVE when poets don't force rhymes to be at the end of each line: "But I want it to go/And I want it to hurt/And flow with the tears"
It seems as if it would be well heard if it were recited. Try speaking it in front of others. |
2008-03-10 01:17:20 | emo kid |
that is great! |