She moaned and arched her back up to the man above her.

The sweat dripping down his face and body fell onto hers. 

This is what she lived for.

This is what she needed.

This is who she needed.

Teresa rolled over pulling the covers a little tighter
around herself. Next to her Joe lay sleeping, eyes
fluttering with silent dreams and secrets he held. 

They had done it again. Made that mistake again. 

He was Teresa's best friend. Well to him they were best
friends, fuck buddies. But to Teresa, they were lovers,
intimate in ways she had never been with anyone else.

A tear ran down her face and she quickly reached up a hand
to wipe it away. She needed to tell him soon, tomorrow
even.

Before the secret ate her alive. 

The next morning Teresa woke up to Joe kissing her neck. She
arched her back, but was not met with his chest this time.
The feeling left her empty.

Unloved.

'Morning sweetie. Sleep well?'

She nodded her head. Three hours of sleep did seem to be
good for her.

'I'm going to go make some breakfast okay?'

She smiled slightly at Joe, just ready to fall back asleep
for another ten minutes.

'I'll call you when it's done.'

Teresa watched him walk out of the room. She always told him
that he walked like a girl. 

Hips swaying and that little strut. 

She closed her eyes hoping for a little more peace, but
still she needed to get past the nightmares.

Chapter 2

They sat at the table silent and awkward a plate of pancakes
between them. 

This is how it always was after one of their nights. The
nights when she needed love, and he needed a quick fuck.

Teresa sighed, Joe shifted in his seat. 

'So uhm' Teresa needed to tell him.

'Yeah.' 

She decided today wasn't the day

It just wasn't right to tell him. He didn't like her like
that, it would just be awkward.

Not that it wasn't already

'Teresa I have a show today.'

She nodded. Joe was apparently a big shot now.

Which is why it was okay for him to use her like that.

'And well I have some more news.'

Teresa met his eyes, they were so happy, so full of life.

'We're going on tour.'

He mouth fell open, a gaping hole that no words would fall
out of. 

'Teresa?!'

She shook her head.

'When are you leaving?' Months spent without her best
friend. The love of her life. How was she supposed to deal
with that?

'Well that's the thing, I have a question.'

He took a deep breath, like he was getting ready for
something big. Knots formed in her stomach, waiting for what
he was going to say.

'I talked with the guys and well....well....will you come on
tour with us?'

She jumped up screaming and landed on him, wrapping her arms
around his neck.

'You're serious right?! You wouldn't fuck with me like this
right?! Oh my god I have to pack.'

She ran up stairs to get her suitcase and clothes, listening
to Joe chuckle behind her. 

And just like everytime before the night was forgotten. 

Chapter 3

Teresa laid her head on Joe's shoulder again.

They had just gotten on the bus, Patrick Pete and Andy all
welcoming Teresa with open arms.

Thankfully enough, she wasn't the only form of estrogen on
the trip, Patrick had also brought his girlfriend, Anna.

The two were adorable together, but Teresa got jealous
watching them.

They were in love and had something she had wanted so badly
to have with Joe. 

She sighed and got up, walking away from him.

This had become a regular thing, he was used to it by now.

Joe watched her walk away, still not understanding how she
couldn't see what everyone else had from the beginning.

He shook his head at her foolishness.

Teresa walked 2 feet into the 'kitchen' to see Pete and Andy
playing games on the counter.

She walked over and sat next to Pete.

They had known each other for years, she was actually the
one who introduced him and Joe.

Pete was in love with her, but of course nothing would ever
happen. She loved Joe. End of story.

'Hey Petey baby'

He looked up at her,and shut off his game.

'Hey Teresa hun, everything alright?'

He knew her moods, faces, expressions. She wished she could
feel the same way about him that he did about her.

'No Pete, they're not.'

Andy took this as his que to walk away. She watched him get
up and walk over to Joe.

'Is it Joe again sweetie?'

Teresa nodded.

Pete just shook his head, he knew the truth about both of
them. 

'Teresa, just tell him. Trust me on this.'

'Pete you know I can't.' She felt bad talking about this
with him. 

It made her feel guilty, knowing she was upsetting him. 

'I'm sorry Petey. I love you'

He sighed. 'I love you too'

They both knew how different the meaning was.