Sestina

With a weight between my shoulders blades, I walk Cherry blossom petals catch in my hair And silently fall to the sidewalk below. The music throbs, loud as I dare, As if to drown out all but the mountains Vanishing into the heaviest clouds. It doesn't work; music has it's uses But the weight on my heart doesn't isolate well. Easier to catch cherry blossom petals Wind-tossed into the cloudy sky Before they fall to the sidewalk; The mountains, distant, fall into me. The sidewalk seems to ground me, unexpected As clouds on a day of sunny forecasts. It seems there is no where to escape this weight Should I run as far as the mountains; The music knows this. I hear you in every song. Blossoms show your face, then hide again. I feel the petals of one blossom in my hand Pausing the slap of my feet on the sidewalk. I have always liked better the scent of mountain pines; The flowers have no weight in their scent, Only a sweet cloud, soon to dissipate. “But you prefer sweetness,” I say to the music that's you. The clouds hang limply over the sky Drowning the mountains, drowning me In music that can not save me From the touch of cherry blossom petals Or the weight I carry with me As hard as the sidewalk below. I want so badly to vanish to the mountains, To hide where your music can not find me Up there, light as or lighter than the clouds Far from this long, cracked sidewalk As wind could scatter cherry blossom petals, But I can't hide from the weight in my heart. Yet weighted down here on the sidewalk, Where cherry blossom petals fly out towards the mountains A word from you, sweetest music, could carry me over the clouds.