floating in the present
soaked in the past
thinking about all that could have been.
Wondering if it could have been better, if
I just stuck with him.
The missery of breaking a mans heart
is a knife in mine.
I did not want to and how could I do it again,
no way, keep on dreaming.
I will not break one more, to mend the last.
With the life he has now, and what I want for mine,
would be a futal waste of time.
I would be warn thin and he much thinner.
Time would be precious and even green dough would be
sparse.
I would have to plead insanity if I gave myself to him
again.
The life I have now,I would be giving up for four step
children and giving up having children of my own. 
It just cannot happen, 
it just will not happen.
I have to leave what we had 
where we had it...
in the past.