Easier

The leaves are grey, shadowed veins shoot through them, dangling from midnight branches. Furious despair whispers loudly over pausng heartbeats, colour has forgotten me... Could you teach me how to unravel these threads of guilt that strangle? I’m sure, if I asked you, you’d stop the rain. Everything, the tumbling leaves remind me, isn’t enough anymore. Don’t worry, I blame myself, I just drown the evidence in begging fingertips. I wait here, contemplating dangerously, on the ragged edges of my heart, expecting to see blood. Want and need imbalance, argue, while I close my eyes, our bodies in rhythm, the windows steamed and the words within me biting. For it’s him, isn’t it? With eyes that burn through me like yours used to. I could once read every shade of your eyes like a secret language that only I had ever learnt but now the colours scare me into ignorance. Oh I know baby, I know how much you love me but I’m an amateur at this. Nearly a year we’ve been together, you’ve taught me everything, shown me everything, and made me who I am. And I hate myself for wanting to run just because it’s easier.