A story I’ll never quite understand

A story I’ll never quite understand... I sit here, feeling guilty and defenseless in front of you. I bite my lips to hold back the tears. As I look away from your face. My whispers turn to screams. Then I stop, realizing what I have done, and look hard at the floor, trembling. I really hate crying in front of you. I have no idea what to do now, confussed and lost since you have seen me in all my forms. I glance over at you and cringe, you make me feel like the dark parts of my life. I can’t escape, and I know I’ll never leave. I search for the door in my mind and I lunge for it. So I’m off with one step, I run far away from here. Away, and gone from you forever. And I won’t stop until the memories of us start to fade. Forget these fake tears I’ve never cried for you, you’re worthless as always. Disregard my face, you can’t recall the kiss that was pushed away. Tell me everything you’re holding back, I can see it under the surface. If its over, why do you still scream you love me behind your oh-so silent lips? Staring away at the seting sun, I watch your eyes burn up as you cry. --Catt <3 10/12/2005....evening