I'm not life, but death

how would you know how i feel, if our love wasn't even real? i thought that you loved me, that we would someday be free, but you broke my heart, and thats just the start! you cheated and lied, i believed you, then cried, how could you even think of doing this? you lost me along in the bitterness! i made a list of what you did wrong, the things you've told me all along! so here i sit, expressing my soul, trying to repair my heart's black hole. i've tried so hard to stay strong, but i guess i could not move along. so i take a breath and grab my knife, as i run again as death, not life...