Him

He'd never know it, but I think everything he does is beautiful. The subtle way he fiddles with his fingers when he's nervous. His loud and contagious laugh. I'll watch from afar, never as bold as the others. Oh, yes, I've got a million things lined up to say to him. Fantasy conversations that have happy endings. But the moment I see him, my mind goes blank. I can feel the flush sweeping across my face, the way my palms sweat and my knees begin to shake. And as soon as he walked by, he's goldenly gone. Our relationship is typical that way, a wonderful moment or two, then -poof-. The glory of the boy needs to be spread elsewhere. And, he's gone. Leaving me alone, and wanting. Needing. I want to be a part of his being so much, to have him care for me the way I care for him. He'd never know it, but I think everything he does is beautiful.