emotional tug of war

By Too Blinded by the lips of L*O*V*E* to taste their sweet poison! •
emotional TUG-OF_WAR
ever cHaNgInG
and always POWERFUL
should I---- or Should I N*O*T*
a battle of wills
sentiment to kill
Resentment and hatred building
but i can't let YOU see---
that i have lost the ceiling
on MY emotions
its been torn a~W~A~Y
can't tell whether you
L
O
V
E
me or N^O^T
today
and i keep it bottled up
growing---- distant----
instead of GROWING ^up^
and every peom and every word
is never heard
its never enough
to fill the hole ()
that can't be filled
the void that chokes my very life force
i CAN'T TrUsT** its not a safe course
so I walk alone
angry and always searching
for something real
a passion to fill
the hole that is gaping
A L<3ve that's mine for the taking
solid and harder than a diamond to break
my sweet escape
from emotional TUG-OF_WAR