A Fool...

I write to you as a fool, today I wish I was blind. I wish love didn't hurt. I wish tears satisfied. I wish soul mates evaporate. I hate marriage. I hate friends. I envy life, for it has forsaken me... To love one with all your heart, at the wrong time for him, not me, cause i'm following my heart, and not my mind. Damn, it hurts so bad inside... Hell, maybe he's following his heart too or his mind... and its just not me. I wonder if he truly loves the one that he loved first... but I know that isn't the case, for I've seen the smiles of happiness all over his face, when "wifey" is by his side... And then i'm disgruntled with another not wanting a touch, him to be in sight or hear a sound... living in house with all this rain, is the most miserable pain, that life could bring. I want happiness, I want love, I want affection, I want passion, I want kisses, I want satisfaction... I want, no I need him. Life has hurt me more than anything imaginable.... And the truth of reality is, is the one that I love makes me happy, takes away the pain, and brings sunshine to the rain, leaving a rainbow, is happy. He is happy, living his life, without me, day to day. I'm a fool cause I stopped living. I'm waiting on my rainbow... He is still the love of my life, my soul mate, my king... but more realistically the closest he'll be to me is in my dreams. Unless life ends my rainy days... or am I just a fool in love, or fooled by love?