i feel lost.,., misssed out,,..., lonely
,,.,.wanton,,.,,.like i have a grasp..,., on an arm,.., that
doesnt reach desire,,,.
like a kite on a string .,., in the hand of letten go loved
one,.,.im the water in an unplugged mirky sink,.,., the only
certainty,., i have no future,..,
days go by same after same.,.,.,work eat sleep.,., get up n
do it again
in the middles.,., my wandered mind.,., reminices n goes
over,,. time after time..,
relives and re dies.,., the same day 
the same night.,., my mind peaces me not,.,. not ever o
no.,., not no.,,.,.
sighs ,..exhales.,. air from lungs ,.,.he blows.
its Bin hard no way easy.,,. but im breathing still
its far froom iron,,.,. but i still have will
i just sit here sometimes,.., yer no..,in quiet
demise.,.,give in and relinquishes,,.moisture from eyes 
i can fight it i can cope.,., i wont do it again.,., i wont
pick up the fone.,., 
make an order.,., feel guilty as soon as the fone goes
down,,., but wont ring back to cancel,.,. the on its way
substance of dreams .,., tranquility.,., and peace..,
to give me some time make me work out,,.,. release.,.,
the end of the world is nigh.,.,
yeh ive heard that befor,., i just never did beleive it,.,

now a big moth .,. round a triple light fitting,.., does
fly.,,.into the heat again n again,, give it up moth its
nothing but pain.,.,but again he still does it,., again n
again.,., 
he stopped on the ceiling.,., hung upside down.,., like you
do..i mean .,., tiny lil feet.., but hes stuck like glue..,
little things please little minds.., but off the track it
made mine roam.,., 
just a little respite from things unknown..,
where born to die,.,. thers gods spirits and after
lifes,..,are we sent to endure this pain ,.,. to go on to
things better.,
but if  god is true.., wich i hope he is.
I wont be seeing his pearly gate..,off to hell ,., sulphuric
whiffs,..,to endlessly,.., what i did wrong.,.,
.,.,.,deliberate,.,.
what did i do wrong.,., can You tell me that,,
my descisions i made affected You not,.,.,. you dont know
what it is,., till you have got it,,.,.,Not,,.
its gone,,.,. all gone,.,. and i let it go..,,.because im
not a man.,.,.,i didnt stand up take that final step.,.,.
i coward n failed ,,. all scared n afraid.,.,
to atke hold of your hand.,., step into this world we
made,..,it was all there..,., all there,., ,alll there foir
the taking.,,. fuck off yo whimp .,., if you think you can
do it now,, dude /.././/..ya jsuyt faking.,.,.,
a hero dies but once
a coward many more...
but at least i wont hurt myself when i die
its not a long way,.,.from the floor