Drink myself away

Drink myself away Trying to drown my pain again so I sit here drinking my self to sleep. You leave a simple cherry taste on my tongue. I just want it to go away, want it all to go for good. I’m almost done with this bottle but I still feel you in my throat. You’re like a hot ooze of sick lodged and I can’t get it out, Stuck in me for ever I’ll have to push on, to try so hard to go on. I’m laying down on my bed now, empty bottle slips from my hand. Room spinning, my stomach does flips and my heart slowly breaks. What a mess I have made of myself, complete and utter monstrosity. I want to do nothing but shed these tears welling up in my eyes. Yet I have never felt farther from any kind of release. I wish I had a switch to flip to get this all out, for it to pour straight out. Seems as though nothing is working and I can feel my impending fate. I can sense that my brutal end is near and no one will care to miss me. What will people think of me now, think of me what they did before? Just one thing lingers in my mind as I take the last few breaths. I ponder what the people I left behind, will carve on my head stone. But how do you put into words that kind of torture, kind of heartbreak? Catt</3 .......... 1/31/2006 ... evening