So many things I can never say
fill my heart when I see you

It effects me for days
Even after such a simple incounter.

No one elce knowes the dynamics
going on when your in my sight

Shame on me for how I look at you
what I am thinking
What my heart is feeling.

Carefully I must conceal
this scandle, alive in my mind only.

I cant ever ask you how you feel
its not fair  
I made my choice, long ago
its was not you..it was wrong.

It has cost me so very much.


I will never have you.
I will never hold you.
I will never touch your lips
with mine...

You are forbidden fruit,
and I must turn away,
and stop this agony.

Stop constructing scenarios
that might bring about a 
"happily ever after" with you, 
It can never be.

But how do I stop the involuntary
emotions that swell when you smile at me,
when you stroke my sons hair so lovingly

your good and gental and kind.

You warmth is so desirable
but I shall never know your embrace
I have to go on...
unhappily ever after