What is this?

What is this feeling? I thought I'd forgotten how to do that. My cheeks are damp and my eyes sting, Since when does a tough girl cry? What is that sound? I thought that I'd gone deaf. My heart is pounding in my ears, Since when is it ok for you to leave? What is your name? I thought you looked familiar. My throat closes up when you spoke, Since when did you speak to me like that? What is that smell? I thought I saw black smoke rising. My nose flares and burns, Since when was fire ever so foul? What is this scar? I thought I remembered all your mars. My fingers trace the cold, white lines, Since when did you need blood as a release? What is your taste? I thought it was cigarettes and coffee. My tongue slide around your mouth, Since when did you kiss like this? What is this place? I thought it looked different around here. My fingers slide into yours, Since when is here where you call home? What is that hanging there? I thought we’d burned our past nooses. My neck feels the course fibers, Since when did you deem suicide a right? What is your problem? I thought you were going to help me. My heart is breaking and I’m choking, Since when did you not love me enough to save me? Catt<3................10/8/2007............. afternoon