relief

it's about time i let you know what i feel the tears i don't show i feel dead inside but you don't know the times i have cried too many to count the times i wanted to let go it just seems too hard i can't take it anymore there's no knocks on the door no one is home not any more i feel great pain which i can't explore trying to forget doesn't help trying to remember i know too well it kills me to say it pains me soo deep i am finding it hard to deal just to stay on my feet i fall to my knees crying in pain my tears are drying up it's driving me insane i don't know what to do and i can't tak to you the shame the guilt the summit of relief i can't seem to find i feel soo much grief why is this happening why am i feeling like this i want it to end to be over i can't deal with it anymore it's just too much the time is coming you need to know that this isn't about you this isn't anything you did it's all about me a selfish girl in this wonderful world i hate the pain i hate the tears i hate the fear in which i live i need a release i feel soo dead inside i have cried to many tears to count i grab my razor i pull up my sleeve i see the slight shine of the razor divine i place my arm on my lap one two three it glides accross my wrist so slowely deeper it goes next time around the feeling is of releif of no more grief i see the light the light i need i reach for it with all my might but then it goes and i am left lying on the floor dead no more