no future for your thoughts

heart throbbing with undissmissable pain it burns inside like unstoping suffering you feel as if you're dieing but yet it still burns you cant figure out hou to stop it with its rage inside they can see the problem its so so clear they just refuse to belive that your end is near you cant resist the screaming it fills your mind the fire inside builds pressure you cant relize the differance between life and death you're so confused you are light headed the room begins to spin someone tells you to move your eyes roll back you fall to the ground you wade up with eyes all around enlarged they help you up and you begin to cry you are so scared evin though it has happend before you are helped off the ground rushed to the emergency room you have to wait a while your head hurts so bad you become nausious the doctor comes to draw blood your blood it drips, you lick it up they ask why you look at them straight in the eyes you tell them it tastes good they wonder why you smile, they glare, you run your hands through your hair you tell them you love it you love to be in pain you love the sweet adrenalin that you get from it you tell them its better than feeling numb and worthless the doctor just stares, and walks away no one will ever know what you did that day yet only you remember your past refuse the present and want to die in the future