I don't know how to start
or where to start
what to say
or how to say it.
how can you even begin to explain?
i see myself for who i am,
i see myself how you must see me
and i sit here 
and wonder how long it will take 
before i start to cry. 
I don't cry
because of me
though i should. 
I cry
because of what i have become
and for that
i can never forgive myself.
now i miss
you and me
the way that we used to be. 
i don't know what it is 
that makes you you
but all i know is 
you're the best friend i've ever had. 
I don't 
deserve that.