All Of Me

I don't know how I'm going to find the volume in my throat to speak the words, to tell you goodbye. I don't know if you'll still be breathing after you've inhaled the torrent of pain upon my whisper. I don't know if my heart will keep kicking once it's seen your eyes turn to oceans and watched the colours fade. I don't know how I will stand, how I will find the iron in me to make my legs work, to take the final steps away. I am sorry that I'm running and it kills me but I'm bleeding. I'm sorry, I can't help that I cry myself to sleep, wake up from nightmares where we're discovered. I'm sorry but I hate it; so weak, so trapped, so i'm taking this small strength, hoping it will be enough to numb the wounds of never again. I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry, fuck, I. Love. You. With. All. Of. Me.