Forbidden

Restless, I struggle, tangled in the sheets, suffocating in the darkness where the air is heavy, pounding with regret. Where the seconds tick by so slowly and I watch the hands moving innocently from 3 to 4am. The taste of alcohol lingers, nausea riots through me in the bitterness that comes with sobriety's return. I am weak and only you could heal these screaming wounds, my tortured mind imagines your embrace; completeness. You will never be the one to hold me whenever. Bars imprison us in a world of secrets and lies, of deceit and guilt, futureless, no hope. Our helpless pulses only take us 'round in painful circles. I wish that we could say 'us'. I long to be with you anywhere we desire, not reduced to closed curtains and holding hands under tables. Withdrawls leave me sick as I crave you again. Can't walk away, I've tried but I left my heart behind. The clock says 5am. I fight my way out of my hell, collaps into the couch despising the dawn chorus. Another day. The world is still asleep. They don't know.