Baby don't leave...... (confusion)

At night I when I lay my head on my pillow, I look through my window and seen the moon light, where within hours will be gone. I think about how I feel right now... About how much pain you put in me without even noticing.. Then I think why bother? You act like you don't care. When you are around her, I tell you bye you just turn to leave... You didn't do that before. I tell you I love you, You again just ignore. You never did that before. When behind close doors and behind my closed heart. I am so angery, crying, happy, and hurt... then I am with you and I'm okay again.. A month goes by without you... I begin to wonder again. Then I think about that night... before there was an us about how I couldn't stop smileing the morning after. And how much I wanted your touch one more time. Then at my party where your kiss felt so good. where I felt completly happy and no confusion Then I stop and realize I want you even more... I always have. I don't want us to end but I want us to end before our friendship does..... I never want the happiness to go away or the feeling of falling in love... Jus the hurt and confusion... I love you baby.... I don't want to leave...... I don't wabt to push you away...... I don't want you to leave.... I don't want us to leave..... Baby I want you..., I need you.... Baby stay with me, don't let go. Baby don't leave ~Note: This may seem confusing to sum of u but that is the point I want him I want to be with him but want and gonna are two diff. things