xx aLL My TRue FeeLiNGS xx (please help)

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By **The Rose that Blooms from the Heart** •

i always seem to find myself surrounded by people but still feel so alone we talk to each other but my words seem meaningless to you and yet full of meaning to me all i ever seem to do is cry i do not cut because i know i will regret it you know that i like you but you have said nothing about it it is torcher to me just waiting for a responce as soon as you found out you seemed to talk to me more but are you just mocking me or do you like me back do you like someone else and just want to be friends or do you just hate me maybe i am just invisible to you to everyone no one understands how it feels to be alone in a swarm of people or to be drowning in thin air i am my own best friend because i am the only one who understands me and yet i dont why cant i be happy or full of joy all the time as once said before my smile is my biggest lie and for me it truly is i have plenty of friends who see my smile everyday but they dont see what is behind it there are tears and pain fears and suffering i want a friend who asks whats wrong when i seem so happy it takes a true friend to see what is behind the mask i have not found that person yet but i cant wait until i do because that person will listen and make the pain and suffering go away i need someone to truly love me and not just say they do i need to see their love trapped in their eyes heart and soul my time is running fast my life is dying slow i need someone to help me so i dont end my life first before the angel of death can **this is not just a story, these are my inner thoughts that no one ever sees in me. they think i am some hyper, life loving girl who wont go past the limit, they dont think i have the guts or feelings to do it. i have cut my self before, and i regret it. i know that if i kill myself i will regret it. but if i just end my life then all the bastards in the world will regret ever teasing me and callling me names. all my pain will go away as i drift slowly into the light, we call death.**

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January 10, 2008 21:34Sheila

A person can not really love another.Until they love their own self. People often make the mistake of thinking that a relationship will make them whole.Making them happy. Sad but true when the relationship ends.They're lonely again. In the end it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you but you. You are the one, who has to live with you. So what does it matter what anyone else thinks? When they laugh at you look at'em and say," And your opinion means what?"

January 10, 2008 23:28**The Rose that Blooms from the Heart**

no i dont think you really understand. i just want answers from the guy i like 1st of all. and i just want someone to love me. not in the boyfrind girlfriend way. its in a different way. well actually in any way would be good but i want it to be true love. like sisters or siblings that dont fight and will do anything for each other. like a gaurdian angel. thats wat i need. especially right now.

January 18, 2008 03:27Simply-Me-20104

Hi, my name is Chelsea, and wheather some believe it or not, I do understand you. I understand how you think, how you feel. You may think that I'm just saying this, but I've been there. When you reach what you think is the bottom, you always have to look for the light. There is something in all of our lives that is worth living for. Whether it is yourself, your future, or even neices and nephews like it is for me, you have to be strong. Poetry is a great step, because you learn you're not alone. Although I do agree with Sheila, the person that must come first is you! It's hard to be a people pleaser, but it's also hard to be alone! Just know, that someone around you, wheather you expect it or not, loves you. You may just be the light that someone else is looking for, just wait for it, the time will come! Learn, and move on. Take these hard times as a lesson, write out your heart, let it flow, but always stay true to you! I'm sorry if this is of no help, but please know there are people like me who care! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to write me!!