U told me to be strong!

U told me to be strong, 5 mins after you walked out, U told me I have a 6 year old sister who needs me, Along with my mom who needs me also. Why don't you see Why can't you understand? I try to face every day, I try to not cry. U said that crying means you give in, and that is something I can't do, Now since that day a year ago, Everything has gone bad you got with someone who I thought cared about me but turned out to just use. You called me a dissappointment, The day I got your suprise birthday arranged. U made me open my eyes, Just to realize I should of kept them shut. You showed me the truth that I can't trust. Daddy you made me afraid, You made me lose. U told me to be strong because for every bad there is a good, Daddy where is the good I want some of it. I know that maybe I didn't turn out to be who you wanted, I didn't turn out to be the little girl you wished you had, So in that return you found a daughter better then me, You tried to replace me, Daddy I never tried to run away from you. But you pushed to hard for me to return the effort, Then you had the nerve to tell me to be strong You proved to me I wasn't worth your want or devotion. So you gave your new wife's kid the promotion, I'm sorry that I can't be strong, daddy I can't be what you want, I want to be strong daddy I wanna go numb take away the feeling all happiness and sadness, all joy and anger. I don't want to feel anything I want to go blank. You told me to be strong, But I don't want to feeling weak is easy. Not having to worry about, what people think that isn't being strong daddy, But now at the end here I realize why you didn't want me, I wasn't strong enough. When you broke up, not crying wasn't strong enough. When you divorced the day after my birthday, Not crying wasn't the strongest way. When I got the papers about your adoption for your new wifes child. Not screaming and leaving wasn't strong enough by the way. I'm sorry I am not strong, I am sorry I am not good enough. Now that I am telling you this then you walked away with out a word, You turned around and told me to be strong. But before you turned around to leave again, I told you, "No daddy, I this whole time you told me to be strong, you called me weak, daddy I just proved you wrong, I am more then strong, and now I am gone." I turn to leave, as you pull out I go to my room and for the first time in all these long hours, days, weeks, months, and over year, I broke down and cried with my best friend, who said that crying what showed I am strong. U told me to be strong, I told you I proved you wrong, I am more then strong now I'm gone. yet your words stick in my head, Be strong. Dedication: To my dad who told me to be strong when he left, when I was 12. The pain is still there but I do have to be strong.