From the outside this is a normal, everyday house in a
normal, everyday little street
But on the inside it is my suburban prison, filled with the
locks and chains of my life
I stand behind the lace bars of my windows, staring,
sightless, my mind in a turmoil
How can it be that once again I am trapped within these
walls, cut off from my dreams?

On the outside I am a normal, everyday mum, doing normal,
everyday stuff for everyone
But on the inside, I am a swirling wind, wild and free, out
there, wandering, exploring.
I am a silver sprite going from place to place, seeing all
there is to see doing all there is to do
Pushing the boundaries of existence, seeing what could be,
not fitting into anybody’s box.

I sweep across the open plains, racing with the wild
brumbies, I am the wind in their manes
The thundering of their hooves echoes in my head and doubles
with the pounding of my heart.
They snort and circle for another pass, they rear and buck
with the excitement of the race,
I am one with the brumby, I feel the quiver of his muscles
as he keeps pace with me, the wind.

I spread my arms and fly up to the highest craggy mountain
peaks, where eagles soar
I glide with them on the up drafts, feel the warmth on my
breast, their ringing cries in my ears.
I drift for hours on the currents circling the rocky mounts,
up here I see all the bustling action But I am not caught up
with it, I am one with the eagle, alone, endangered,
misunderstood.

Swooping to the valley I dance beneath the waterfalls, fine
mist surrounds me like a mystic fog
Pure droplets of freshness make my skin sing, as my hair
falls in damp waves on my shoulders.
I melt into the stream and tumble over the boulders, I sing
with the crystal sounds of the brook
Around the corner the river runs deep, I am one with the
water and we flow on forever.

I roar down to the coast and out to sea, whipping the tops
of the waves to foam as I dash by
I breathe in the salt air, I hear the crash of the waves on
the shore, the cry of the gulls overhead.
Another world lies beneath the waves, coloured fishes weave
through the swaying seaweed,
Monster fish hang in nothingness, dolphins revel in their
freedom, I am one with the dolphin.

I rise to the cool, shady canopy and stretch out along one
of the great arms of the giant gumtree
The birds flit around me and regard me curiously with their
beady little eyes, rather big bird?
I watch them go about their daily business, every tree a
home, a possible feast in every nook
Wash and preen a little bit, and all sing for joy at each
side of the day, now I’m a sparrow too!

Back in the little house with it’s four walls, it’s
doors and windows, it’s locks and chains
Where that suffocating feeling comes creeping around my
lungs, constricting my throat
Where the chattels of my life come alive and scream at me so
that my head pounds all day
And my heart sags down in my chest further each day, it
aches, it feels like a solid lump.

I mourn on the couch and beside me my friend looks up with
his deep, liquid, brown eyes
And although he never speaks I hear him whisper, I feel it
in his body, I see it in those eyes, Patience, he says, and
strength, one day you will live and then we will live
together, but now,
Close your eyes, breathe the sea air, feel the wind and the
water, hear the birds, keep dreaming.

IJR