For four years I loved you
For four years I suffered
I died inside watching you
In your obliviousness
Where were you
when I cried myself to sleep?
You were dreaming sweet dreams
Probably of Her
What were you thinking
When you hugged me?
I never wanted it to end
Thinking, just keep holding me
And when I was drowning
in my poisoned thoughts
you went off to one place
or another
You could make me bubbly inside
Like a bottle of wine
Just make me want to blow
Understand?
You can make me so happy.
Then there are those times
When you don’t laugh with me
Or even speak
You can make me feel so ugly
Like a withered flower
That just lost all its
Confidence and beauty
Do you get it?
You own me
And you don’t even know
Everything you do
All the things you say
They just float around inside me
With no place to go
Nobody to talk to
I bear this burden alone
Just me and my keyboard
I’ll never forget what you’ve done
You taught me the meaning
Of pain
It was you who changed me forever
I’ll never forget
But I will move on
I’ll stop trying to figure out
Who you’re checking
Or if she deserves you
And I’ll stop telling myself
That I’m not worthy of you
I’ll stop putting myself down
Stop telling myself I’m stupid
And ugly
But most of all I will never
Again
Believe I hate you
Or say, “I Love you”
Not even in my head
Until
I first hear it from your mouth
I’m moving on
I’m leaving pain behind
And for the first time
In a long time
I will be truly happy.