Has it ever crossed your mind?
That I might be hiding some pain?
Beneath that exterior of smiles-
Or have you ever suspected,
That I may not be as hardy as I seem (more vulnerable than I
appear)
That I am only strong on the surface?
 
Have you ever wondered?
Where all my strength comes from?
How I wake up with a smile each day;
That I can smile through my tears.
And if there was ever a sad day in my life,
If anybody ever hurt me deep.
 
I want to reveal a secret today.
That I am not that strong.
That I am not that happy.
That I am human too.
And I too deserve a chance to cry.
And I too need someone to love.
And someone who accepts me for who I am.
 
Just because I smile-
It does not mean I am happy,
It does not mean that I am not hurt,
It does not mean that I don’t care,
And it doesn’t mean that I have given in.
It simply means that I am keeping mum so that you can be
happier
Than I am this day,
 
But don't take me for granted;
And don't break my heart.
Because my strength comes from within.
 
Sometimes, I need someone to hold me through the night.
Sometimes I too need a shoulder to cry on.
A hug of encouragement for me to continue being your pillar
of strength and joy.
That I too am human.
And I need concern love and encouragement.

But where were you when I needed you?
Where were you when I felt blue?
Where were you when I needed love?
I’ll tell u where u were-
You were in his room talking to him,
Telling him that it’s all my fault.
Plotting how to hurt me deeper.

You’d realize that I don't need to be in a good mood
daily;
I am not obligated to smile and wish you a good morning
daily.
I do not owe you smiles and encouragement;
But I do it.
Cos I want you to be merry;
And I want you to live a happy day.
  
Be honest and ask yourself-
If you have ever truly loved me for whom I am,
Accepted me for all my flaws,
And why is it that when I do so much,
All you do is to break my spirit and hurt me.
All you do is insult and put me down.

Now I wonder if I have been too strong-
If its time to let my guards down.
That I should just cry and reveal all that I have done
stealthily for you,
If my strength does prevents me from being accessible,
If I have reached the end of my tolerance?
And I might just surrender to the wilderness;
And give up being your source of sunshine.

Perhaps then,
You will know that I have tried.
And you will learn to appreciate my presence-
And then begin to love and accept me
For whom I am and what I am.

Cadence V. Leigh