Murdering My Love

Suffocated... Smothered... Asphyxiated... Scared... Terrified... Last night was a living nightmare Last night, I left you I teared my heart apart I abandoned my soul I killed my joy I lost my love I'm a criminal in the name of love I don't know if we are soul mates But I know that you own my heart You're my first true love You're my smile You're my laughter You're my life You're the air I breathe You own me body and soul Last night, Words can't describe how lonely that night was You begged me, "Don't turn your back on me!" I had no choice I was living a dream A dream that was so surreal And now it's time to wake up I knew this was going to happen I left you before it's too late You know that we're not meant to be "I love you, and I can't love anyone but you", You begged "Don't leave me now, I can't live without you" While my hands are shaking While my heart is racing I say, "I have no choice, I have to do this." He starts to cry My heart sinks in its place I tell him, "You know that I love you. And I don't know how I'm going to move on. But this is our destiny." Our final destination Our broken road Our dead end I wish I would die As I hear him cry I wished that I could hug him I wished that I could hold his hands His tears, They make me suffer How I wished I would be next to him How I wished that we would be together forever My eyes were red Filled with sadness Filled with unspoken words But still, I didn't cry My tears were locked up Eventually, He gives up on me He leaves And he takes my heart with him After all, I couldn't cry I was in denial I didn't believe what was going on I go to bed Trying to sleep The whole night I keep turning around in my bed His memory lives in me His love is haunting me I never imagined that someday Someone will love me the way he did His love was a fairy tale His love was bigger than life His love was a dream come true In the morning, I woke up with an unbearable feeling I wanted to skip this life I kept myself away from my friends I hated life I woke up from my misery I started reading his love notes I cried I finally cried How I miss him How I miss his voice How I miss hearing the words 'I love you' coming out of his lips How I miss being with him How I miss hearing him calling my name How I miss being his girl Tears rush out of eyes Falling upon my cheeks With a wish of hearing his voice Saying my name His love notes are mesmerizing Writing his feelings for me Meant everything to me I read them while I cry While I suffer with my tears Is someone going to love me the same way he did? Every time I get a call on my phone Every time I get a text message My heart races Hoping it would be him And how happy I would be if it was him Now, That'll stop No phone calls from him No messages He's gone forever I love him with all of my heart But we were never meant to be together I love him And he loves me But this is the end of our love story A bitter, sad ending N.B.