Time passes, I pretend

Time passes. I am eleven. You shot down all My hopes and dreams To the ground. You hit me. You hurt me. Your happiness: My tears. My smile, My hidden truth. I pretend. Time passes. I leave one pain, To discover another. We make four But I am alone. My past is hidden, Locked away. New hurt. New fear. New Secrets. I pretend. Time passes. A new year. A new beginning? My good year. Not happy, More pain. These wounds, Your words. I am last. I am fat. I hate you. I pretend. Time passes. I failed. Then a lover, Burning release. My secret. Those nights, With you, To lose myself. Forget my failure. Forget injustice. Forget fear. I pretend. Time passes. Missing friend; Dead friend. Greif overcomes. New success. Only once Am I proud. Holes in my heart. Holes in my head. Holes you make. I pretend. Time passes. Need support: Its not there. Trust gone. Abandoned. For you, I don’t pretend. Its too much. Pressure for success. Pressure to win. Pressure everywhere. I pretend.