On October 18-19 2003, i gave my heart to the lord at
acquire the fire in Ottawa. I remember that night like it
was yesterday, although dont ask what went on at the stadium
because that is a blurr, the only thing about that weekend
was the night i gave my heart to the lord, i was with the
youth group and when i did, I got a hug from Val, from Dan,
from Ann and Beth and probably alot more people than that.
The decision i made that night would impact my life forever
from that day and although my teenage years were some of the
worst ones, i guess that was part of my decision to follow
christ was that i was so sick of the nonsense that went on
around me and god was the only way i could release myself
from that. Since my dad died in 2002, my faith has had alot
of low points, the points that i needed god the most were
the points in my life that i wasnt really following him the
way i should have been. As a 16-17 year old teenager, I got
introduced into drinking coolers, I now crave an occasional
grape smirnoff, I do regret every time i have a drink or
even a sip because i made a vow to myself that i would never
drink alcohol in my life. My life is one big faith filled
rollercoaster, sometimes in my faith just so free and other
times i feel like it is so hard to be a christian girl in my
own house. I feel it is hard because a certain sibling has
different views than i do. Which basically tells me to keep
my mouth shut. I am now 18, and my fire is only burning
slightly rather than quite high. So basically my faith is
needed to be build back up again. I am trying to read my
bible whenever i can, but each day it is so hard to just sit
down and read it, instead i play video games or go on the
computer. I know that with each time i am struggling with my
faith that i need to work through it and pray about it, give
it to god. There were a few weeks that i did not attend care
group which is not like me at all, Caregroup is just a tiem
that i can spend with fellow christians, reading the word of
god and praying and talking about things that are of concern
for us or having praise notes. Despite not being a "pick me"
"pick me" christian, I like to soak in what i have been
learning. When i come to church each sunday, there are
usually a few people that can tell if its a good sunday or a
bad sunday. Which is good, because sometimes i just need
those type of people. Each time i went to ATF i learned
something new. I think i just need another "wipe clean of my
slate" and start new, or like at acquire the fire in
indianapolis, i need a garbage truck to come so i can throw
things out that are hindering my walk with god. For me in my
daily walk with god it is a daily struggle because there are
times that the world gets in my way and i dont read my bible
at all. I am not saying that having a sip or two of alcohol
is really the worst thing in the world, i am saying for that
i am afraid that if i were to drink more than a few sips it
would turn into way to many bottles of coolers. 

I think from this day forward i will be able to say, father
forgive me, for i have sinned and fallen short of the glory
of god, father please forgive me for the things that i have
let hinder my relationship with you. I pray from this day
forward that you would teach me new things each time i open
up your word and that you would speak to me in so many
different aspects of my bible reading or give me the words
to speak to others that may need my help. 
Father reveal yourself to me in a deep way. Give me strength
to be bold for you. Help me not to tear myself down. When i
tear myself down i have to try and build myself back up.
Lord, you have engraved in my mind that verse that has
helped me through so much, which is ephesians 2:10 "For we
are god's masterpiece, he has created us anew in christ
jesus, that we may do the good things he planned for us long
ago." Thank you Lord.